Pinning God

Anyone reading this blog knows that I am engaged to a most wonderful man. Jonah and I are to be married March 6th, 2010, and we are so excited! Everything about Jonah screams wonderful to me. His sweet disposition, strength, wisdom, tenderness, humility....so much like Jesus. I have learned so many lessons from this man. For example, yesterday we this conversation on the phone:

Jonah: You are due for a good squeeze. When I see you I am going to pick you up and spin you around and then flip you over.

Me: (loving this flirtatious banter) No! You will not! 'Cause I am gonna beat you up.

Jonah: Ha, ha. No you won't.

Me: Yes I will. I will beat you up and wrestle you, and throw you to the ground.

Jonah: I will put you in a headlock and kiss your face.

Me: Na-ah. 'Cause I will pin you down and never ever let you up and what are you going to do about that huh mister?

Jonah: Well, I guess I will just have to let you.

I guess you are wondering what I could have possibly learned from this. Well, I began to think about how easily Jonah can overpower me (the benefit of being engaged to a man who used to bodybuild). Anytime we wrestle, he pins me - and I LOVE every second of it. Ocassionally though, he will allow me to pin him and then ask me, "You think I can't get out?" and I lie with great delight, "You can't, I have you pinned," and then Jonah swiftly proves me wrong while I laugh and squeal like a 3 year old.

Jesus and I have this very interesting relationship where He kind of shows me things through secenrios in my life....giving me glimpses of Himself through my relationships here. After I got off the phone with Jonah yesterday, I thought about God and how often He allows me to pin Him in a box...pin Him to an idea....a doctrine....pin His name to a problem....and how easily He could get out. Why doesn't He just prevent me from pinning Him at all? Or when I do pin Him, why doesn't He show me how easily He can escape?

This morning as I walked around the Ocoee River by myself and had "church" with the King, He answered my questions. I was staring into the water thinking about how much fun Jonah and I have wrestling and trying to work out in my mind what God was trying to show me through this analogy...and that is when I got my answer.

God lets me pin Him so that I can have fun when He gets up! No joke. I realize that this sounds ridiculous but it is exactly what He showed me. Every time I pin God to a problem, doctrine, etc. to which He should not be pinned, He is permitting it. He could choose to reveal the misunderstanding immediately. He could point out how much stronger and wiser He is than me. Instead, He allows me to wrestle Him for a moment and then pin Him as long as I like. Eventually, He asks, "Do you really think that I cannot get out of this? Do you really think you can keep me pinned to this?" As I say "Yes," the Lord rolls out of my grasp in an instant and reveals how He is not the cause or linked to the idea... then I laugh, smile, cry, and stand in awe as God lets Himself out of my grasp time and again. It is like a game He plays with me, and loves just as much as I do.

Sitting by the river, I smiled really big and tears rolled down my cheek as I thought about just how wonderful my life is.

Thank you for wrestling with me, Abba. We have so much fun!

Amidst the undesired pull of my Human Physiology & Anatomy textbook, working full time, and trying to give my fiance' all the attention in the world, a unique little story has cropped up. A story without fabrication, in fact, a story which proves just how easily one person can influence another. So sit down, and let's have a little palaver.

One of the three places I am employed at gives me the distinct privilege of working with children and adolescents who have a lot of problems. Every day I go to work and meet new kids who are wonderfully different. Sometimes this poses quite a challenge. Like the 14 year old sexual predator who could ask more questions in 2 minutes than I could answer in a week. Now I understand how my professors feel. Who said wearing an employee badge makes me a cesspool of knowledge?

Another one of my challenging children was the 13 year old who on top of being psychotic (dealing with that is not really a problem, that is my job) could also walk up behind, beside, and/or in front of any staff member without even being noticed until she was and inch or so from your face - talk about a personal space issue!!!

My second shift working with younger children I got to meet the infamous Tyreke (name and some descriptive details changed for anonymity). Best known for his wild outbursts, Tyreke is apparently the next Houdini, as he can wiggle his way out of any physical hold, get himself "lost" in a locked facility for hours, and, at merely 5 years of age, he sees dead people. Okay, he's crazy right? Negative. I don't think so. During group, Tyreke explained to me how his day went in chronological order, he expressed a desire to return to school so he did not fall behind, and he calmly confessed, "Miss SarahRuth, I see dead people coming up out da' ground. And they be talkin' to me sometimes you know? They say, 'ooooh, we gonna kiiiiiiilllll yoooooooou boy!' And then they laugh at me".

Before you break out in hysterical laughter and accuse Tyreke of crying wolf, let me have a word with you in private. Okay, are you alone? Don't laugh at me, but I LOVE this little boy. Granted I only knew him for 6 short days; regardless, there is just something about his sweet baby face, his caramel skin, those little twisted fuzzy black hairs on his head, and his deep, bright, brooding cafe' colored eyes. The moment I met him I just wanted to pick up his little body and hold him in my arms. His little face screams,

"Hug me, hold me, please love me!"

And that is exactly what I am not allowed to do at my job. So, I restrained my maternal instinct to reassure this forlorn little soul in order to keep my job. Before I interrupted our palaver, we were discussing dead people, right?

As Tyreke announced his morbid hallucinations to myself and the other 10 little kids around him, I felt me heart melt. This little boy sees dead people? I wonder what else he has seen in his little life? Later, I pulled Tyreke aside and asked him a if he had ever heard of a man named Jesus. His little shoulders shrugged and he replied, "I guess so. My gramma says she likes to talk to 'im. I think she talks about me." I smiled and told him I was sure that she does.

Then I took a chance.

"Tyreke, can you keep a secret?"
His face lit up, "For sure."
"Jesus is the most powerful name in the whole world. If those dead people come back, all you have to do is say the name of Jesus and they have to go away."
Tyreke's cafe' colored eyes opened so wide I thought he might be about to go all psycho on me, "For real?? You mean I just tell 'em "JESUS' and they got to go?"
"Yes sir, Tyreke. They have to go away at the name of Jesus buddy."
"All right, I'll try it". And with that Tyreke ran back to the group.

Now might be a good time to mention that I would probably get fired if my boss knew about this conversation. Hopefully, he does not read my blog, and thankfully, I keep my facebook limited to my actual friends, not my employer.

Two days after I breeched protocol and told Tyreke how he could get rid of "dead people", I worked with him again. As I stepped off the elevator and into the group room, Tyreke came running up to me practically yelling, "Miss SarahRuth, you were right! I said 'Jesus' and dem dead people be runnin'!!!" He grabbed my hand and jumped a little bit while I was rewarded with the biggest, most beautiful smile I have ever seen.